Thursday, February 4, 2010

Just said "Goodbye"

It's 4am and I just said "goodbye" to my husband for the second time in a month. Mid and Dick are driving him to Cleveland for his appointments. Neither of us slept tonight. I avoided tears by staying busy, helping him get dressed, packing his bag, fussing like I do. I was fine until I kissed him goodbye and he eased himself into their car, watching him try to stay strong as he adjusted the seat to try to make him as comfortable as possible and strap a pillow over his belly to help guard against the bumps. It was then that I realized he was driving 4 hours away to manage an unfair lot in life and I was alone in a cold garage praying a baby stays inside so that his daddy can meet him for the first time with me. It is just too much right now. This hurdle is so small compared to what we've been through but in my current state it is just as tear worthy.
Troy is getting tired. The pain takes him to his limit and if that isn't bad enough there is always a side of humilitation. I love him so much it breaks my heart. I feel like a part of me dies when he starts to give up. All I can do is pray. I pray for his strength, my strength, emotional and physical stamina...I pray when I don't even know the words. As I give up my control to God he gives me peace.......thank you Lord for that peace....maybe now I can get some rest.
Is it too late to take an ambien?


  1. We are continuing to pray for all of the ongoing situations and developments. You both are so strong in your faith and I know that God will carry you through. Keep you heads up and focus on the things that you can control. God will somehow take care of the rest. I know that is eaiser said than done and I can't even comprehend what you have been through and continue to go through. God has lead you through the storm this far and will not leave your side. Let us know if there is anything we can do. I know that you are an hour a way but we would do anything for you guys. Thanks for being a great brother and sister and showing what true faith in Christ is all about. You guys have been a blessing and have challange be in my Christian walk just by how you have handle this storm. We love you all.

    Bill, Haley & Chloe

  2. Alicia, if there's ANYTHING we can help with please just let me know ! Even if your mom just wants a little break with Gavin so she can do errands or go to your appointments with you. The hour drive over is no problem at all. Learn to take all the help you can get. We know you guys are handling everything pretty well, considering all you are going through but we all just want to help in anyway we can. Love you guys! Denny & Jenni