Wednesday, July 28, 2010

We're Home!

Troy was discharged home this morning. He is doing really well. He still has quite a bit of pain of course but things are on the mend. Troy has a lot of gas pains as his bowel starts working again and that causes him more discomfort than the incision sometimes. He had his first bites of solid, crunchy food Monday night. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I watched him take bites of a Cesar wrap. He hasn't had a piece of lettuce since January 5th or anything requiring much chewing. He is very, very leery of and nervous when eating. It is hard for him to put his guard down and believe that what he is eating isn't going to cause him pain. He isn't able to each much in volume but he is trying. His stomach has shrunk so much that it only takes a few bites to fill him up. Doctor suggests he eat 5-6 small meals each day. He was 125 lb. on surgery day. I know he has lost more weight post-op but haven't had him get on the scale yet.
Troy is trying to adjust to his ileostomy. Like everything else, it will be a big learning curve but he has a huge head start with all the supplies due to everything he has been through over the past 6 months.
It is so nice to have him home. He really missed the boys. Gavin snuggled with him in the chair and Grayson gave him lots of big toothless grins. I thank God so much for my family. We have been through so much but God has been faithful and kept us together. Now we need to focus on getting Troy healthy and enjoying our beautiful boys. We have so much to be thankful for.

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Hi everyone, I just want to thank all of you for all of your prayers and support through this past year. I trully feel that life is soon going to make a turn for the good very soon for us. I am still in the hospital for now as I continue to heal. Eveyday seems to get better, and I long to go home and sleep for more that 1 hr at a time. I hope that this past year of blog posts from Alicia have been helpful, and most of insperational to all of the spouces out there. She is trully a blessing and has shown us all what making a promise to someone is all about. I can't wait to get home and be around my beautiful kids again, I miss them dearly.

P.S. God is good and he is not done with me yet!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Really Tired Today

I think the reality of everything his body has been through has caught up with Troy today. He is simply exhausted. I brought the boys up to see him this morning and he was already wiped out for the day. He is still doing well - going for long walks and sitting up in the chair. The doctor increased his diet to clear liquids and the urinary catheter was removed as well. All good signs! I think what he really needs is some peace and quiet to get some quality rest. Most of us know that if you want to rest don't stay in a hospital. There is always someone coming or going.

Please pray for continued strength and healing. Pray for rest for his weary body. Think of us as you go to church in the morning. We can't wait to get back there.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Goodbye "snot slide"

I spent the night with Troy last night. We didn't get much sleep but he is still doing great. The doctors were all happy to hear how active he has already been. He went for his first walk this morning and just finished his second. The nurse just took out the tube that went from his nose to his stomach or as Troy loving calls it his "snot slide." You gotta love Troy's sense of humor.
The pain medicine is making him itch pretty bad so they are going to change from dilaudid to fentanyl and see if it helps.
The nurses and the overall care here at Parkview is sooo much better than Cleveland Clinic. The nurses actually care and really try to take care of Troy's needs plus he doesn't have a roomate! They keep an extra bed in the room just for family. Awesome right? All of this really helps Troy's positive attitude and the more he gives the nurses a hard time the better he is feeling.
Troy was touched to read so many cards that came in the mail recently. Thank you all for caring so much. More updates to come.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Already up to a chair - Doing great!

Troy got up to his room around 6pm and is doing so well! His color is pretty good and he has already been joking around and poking fun at everyone, including the staff. His whole mentality is really different this time than at Cleveland. He sees this surgery as the end of the journey and a start of his life again, versus only a stepping stone and chemo still to go.
He has been eating ice chips and he just got up to a chair. I can't believe how motivated he is to move and then how well he is already on his feet. I know that having already been through this he is better prepared to handle the pain and knows the tricks to moving about with his incision.
It is already so wonderful to see that spirit back in his eyes. I really missed that. Cancer robbed Troy and our family of a full year. During that time you know that things are different but after a while you kind of forget what a normal life felt like and what the sparkle looked like in life. Tonight the sparkle is starting to come back.
He is sleeping next to me. I have never seen a more handsome man.

Surgery - Been There - Done That!

Wow! Crazy morning. Troy went into surgery at 12:30 and by the time we went to lunch and came back for a few minutes he was done! Troy got out of OR at 4:00 and is now recovering from anesthesia. Praise the Lord, he has taken care of his son! The surgery went well. The MD said that he had a LOT of scar tissue and adhesions in his abdomen. It took him two hours just to cut through all the scar tissue and get down to business. Troy did have a fistula, or tunneled pathway, from his pouch to outside his body (that explains a lot of the complications he was having). The doc was able to cut out the pouch and move the exit site over to the right side of his body without complications.
He is going to be pretty sore for the next several days of course but the doc thinks he will do very well. Right now he has a tube down his nose to drain his belly and that will remain in for several days until his bowels start moving again.
I am so thankful that this is the end of the road. I am confident that Troy can now begin putting his life back together and I can't wait till we can get back to church!!!! He has been so strong while enduring so much. I admire him and love him beyond words.
Thank you all so much for the prayers and support. God is faithful and the prayers are heard. The next 8 weeks are going to be tough but through God we will make it through. Our faith and spirit has been forged by fire and God has given us strength beyond our own capability. Troy can now rest easy in God's hands.
More to come. Right now I just want to hold his hand and kiss him.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Surgery Update

Hi Everyone,
I hope the week has gone well for everyone. Troy had his pre-op appointment and everything is set for surgery at Parkview on 7/22 at 12:30. Surgery should last about 3-4 hrs and estimated hospital stay is 5-7 days. The doctor checked his hemoglobin and hematocrit and they are okay. I am worried about his nutritional status and how much weight he has lost, he is down to 128 lb. The doctor checked his albumin level and it was also adequate. With enough albumin his body will heal appropriately. That makes me feel better but I am still really worried that he will get an opportunistic infection from something totally preventable like poor handwashing. Being in healthcare is not always a good thing. My mind is always racing to the worst case scenario. I will trust God to take care of him and leave it at that. What else can I do? It will be nice to be on my home turf and be able to keep a good eye on him.
Troy is still suffering with horrible complications from his pouch. He can spend up to 14 hrs a day in the bathroom. He is scarred to get his hopes up of a brighter future post surgery. He has had so many set backs that for something to go right seems almost unfathomable. I pray that this truly is the end of all the treatment and cancer process. One full year post diagnosis Troy will be healing and beginning his life again.
Troy actually had a pretty good day today and it was wonderful to laugh together again. We hung out with the kids, laughed and talked about how much better life will be after surgery.
We have a lot of hope for the future and I pray everyday that God will look after my family. I know He is merciful and good days will come again.
More to come soon.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Happy Father's Day

The above photo is what Gavin does when it is suddenly very quiet - Yes that is pancake syrup.

I hope everyone had a great Father's day. It was wonderful for Troy to spend time with his boys, even if he wasn't feeling that great (see photo). Troy feels that every battle he fights from cancer is a battle to stay with his boys and a chance to be a great dad. I know that my dad has always been there for me and is one of my biggest fans. Troy wants to be all that and more for his boys. He such a good father and husband and I am looking forward to seeing him spend many more Father's days with his boys.
We were able to get to church on Father's day and that was great. The music, the message, everything was a boost to our spirits. Troy is having more and more pouch complications and it is getting really hard for him to leave the house. The poor guy spends so much time in the bathroom it is sometimes hard for him to believe that better days are coming.
We saw the surgeon the other day and his wants to perform surgery the week of July 19th. We see him again next week for a pre-op appointment and hopefully we will have a more concrete date and time. Troy has to not only have the colorectal surgeon but a urologist must be present for the surgery as well, so hopefully we won't have problems getting that coordinated. A urologist must be present to put stents in the ureters so that the surgeon doesn't cut them when clearing any scar tissue that may have developed since his surgery in January.
Troy is now only drinking his meals. Any solid food results in furher pouch complications and now that the cold sensitivity from chemo has worn off he can drink Carnation and shakes. The neuropathy from chemo is lighter put still present. The other day his feet were so numb that he couldn't feel when he was walking. He fell a couple times just from that.
The church family has been amazing! The church is bringing meals and starting to come over and clean for us. This is such a huge help. We have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support.
Please continue praying for Troy. Pray that he stays mentally strong during these next several weeks as he battles really tough physical complications. Pray for encouragement. Pray that he will be able to tolerate enough food to make him stronger for surgery. I firmly believe that my God will take care of us and Troy will make it through this.
Love to all.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


It has finally come, I am sitting here getting hit up with my LAST bit of chemo. I thought this day would never come. I just wanted to let all of you know, who were able to make it over to the house last Sunday night, that it was a beautiful view from my eyes, as I saw almost 60 of Gods soldiers ready to do battle for me. I truly blessed to have friends and family like you. I was very nercouse about coming in to do this today, but I was strenghtened by the fact that I new you were all 100% behind me. I long to get my life back and getting this part done is a huge stepping stone in that direction. God is soo good, and has sustained me throughout this unbelievable journey. But I must say that it could not be done without all of your help, and expecially the constant help and support I recieve daily from my beautiful wife. She has hopefully shown many people through this process, what it means to promise your spouce to be with them in sickness and in health. She is soo strong. I love you all and I ask for your continued prayers as I count down to next Wed. And as I begin the slow healling process.

I can't thank you all enough, but I know that God has something very special for each and everyone of you, for taking care of one of his own. God Bless.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Kidney Stones and Spiritual Warfare

Sorry it has been 4 weeks since the last post. I lose track of time.

We are in crisis mode - I need all prayer warriors put to work and serious time spent fighting for Troy. Here is what has been going on -
When Troy went for his last chemo treatment over a week ago he had lost another 3 pounds (he now weighs 138 lbs.) and I think for the first time the doctor saw how weak and tired Troy is getting (he has been putting on a good front for the MD until now.) The side effects from chemo compound with each treatment and they have been getting really bad on top of further pouch complications that increase with each passing day. Troy was supposed to have a total of 10 treatments but after last week the doctor wants to cut it back to 8. He doesn't think Troy has the oomph to plow through 3 more treatments and be healthy enough for more surgery. As of now Troy's last chemo will be this coming Thurs. This is exciting and scary. We hope that 8 treatments and surgery will have gotten everything. The doctor sounds confident and we can only pray.

I will be honest and say we are starting to lose our passion for God's plan in our lives. We know Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior but it honestly feels like everytime we or someone else passionately prays for Troy life just gets a little worse. We had been noticing this for a while but it is getting really concerning. The other night the elders and their wives from church came over to pray over our family. It was great to have them here and our spirits were buoyed by their confidence and faith. Wonderful heartful prayers were sent up and we were all feeling good when they left. That night Troy had one of the worst nights of his life - sick, broken, and left clinging to the scraps of life he has left. He was left feeling confused and forgotten by God.
Yesterday Ron, our pastor, came over and Troy and him had a very nice visit. Once again strong prayer was put over Troy and last night I had to rush him to the ER due to excrutiating kidney stones. He has had stones in the past but this was the worst he has ever had and it was also on the same side as his pouch which left him feeling like his pouch was being ripped apart. I stood next to him on the ER cart holding his hand and fighting for him not to give up. There was a pain in his look, cry, and eyes that comes from somewhere so dark and deep that words will not explain it. I hope that no one reading this ever has to see what I saw last night. Through the pain and tears that had to do with more than just kideny stones we held eachother. It was a time when the raw need for eachother was laid out. We both knew what he was fighting for. Troy is my air, my water, my life. I will fight tooth and nail to keep him here, last night was a mental battle but it also made me realize I have been misunderstanding and misjudging a HUGE part of this process -
This battle is more than beating a physical cancer and keeping your mental game straight. Oh no, those are the little pieces. SATAN IS OUT TO SEEK, KILL AND DESTROY TROY. He wants to see Troy struggle when he gets his faith back under him. He wants me to be angry at God. Satan would like nothing better than for my family to come out of this being further from God than when we started. I really feel like there is a battle going on above me roof. Who gets Troy and my family? This realization changes everything. Any anger and resentment and frustration is no longer towards God but now tenfold against Satan. If Satan thinks he can sneak into my life and take what is most important to me he has got another thing comin.

Please, please, please pray for Troy. Pray for strength to make it through this last chemo. Pray for encouragement that the end of treatments is near. Pray for protection from evil. Pray for less pouch problems and better nutrition. Please ask everyone you know to pray. This is a breaking point for Troy and we all need to help him through it.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Floor Firsts

Grayson is all smiles and loves to "talk" to us. He hasn't laughed hard yet but chuckles and squeals with excitement. Check out the pic. Adorable.
Gavin has turned into quite the mischief maker. He has started a really big problem with biting and unfortunately his cousin Bryna has been tha major victim. He gets so wrapped up in emotions - tired, happy, mad - that he doesn't know how to express himself so he bites - others and himself. I gotta get on the parenting websites and figure out what to do. The kid is tough. Timeouts, spanking, ya da ya da ....none of it works. ughhhhh.
Yesterday I was working when I got a call from Troy. It goes as follows -
Troy - "Want to know what your son did during nap time?"
Me- "What"
Troy - "He woke up crying and I went to get him. I found him standing in his crib with pants in the middle of the room, diaper on, yet little squirrel turds randomly tossed in front of the crib and more squashed on his socks and sheets. But wait....he also had some under his fingernails and on his teeth as he put his hands in his mouth (I'll pause and wait for you to throw up). After removing his brown hands from his mouth he proceeded to take of his socks. I discovered, upon further investigation, that said socks and sheets were covered in urine as well!! Gavin was crying and very upset at this situation and I almost threw up from the smell and sight of the situation.

At this point I was crying with laughter at work. Yes, it is disgusting but I wasn't at home to deal with it. I wanted to know if he got a picture. Troy's response...!!No!! I was too busy trying to clean the mess up. Since returning to work I have never been so excited to not be home than when I got this call. ahhhhhhh What do you do but dunk them in the tub and break out the sani-wipes and febreeze?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Just a thought

Do you ever have one of those moments where you are completely content? The other morning I was the peanut butter in a Grayson and Troy sandwhich in bed. Grayson awoke early so I brought him to our bed to snuggle ( I know...tisk tisk ) Troy was out cold from too many sleepless nights and eventually Grayson fell asleep. I just layed there listening to them both breathe. I thought about how amazing it was that 5 months ago I layed in bed with this enormous belly wondering what my son would look like and how life would be with him in it. Then I would turn and see Troy sleeping next to me and I would wonder if this would be the last night he would be there. I know it sounds awful but you think about the worst when you are scared of the unknown. Now, today, my bed is filled with a husband, although sick, with a hopeful future and a chubby little baby that makes me smile with every grin. I never loved the sound of breathing more.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's day to all you Mom's out there. Being a mom myself makes me soooo thankful for all the hard work and time they put in. My mom and Troy's mom are angels. They have helped us so much with our kids, home and overall sanity. We spent the weekend relaxing, went to the lake to see my brother and are now having dinner with Mid and Dick. My brother came in from Wales for business in Detroit and was able to drive to the lake to meet us for breakfast. He comes home with the whole family in a month...yeah!
Troy is now halfway through chemo. His WBC count is still doing great. Chemo is getting tougher and tougher and he is trying to stay mentally tough. He still has a really bad upper respiratory infection but it is slowly getting better. We met with a new local surgeon who will do Troy's surgery at the end of August to convert his messed up internal ileostomy to a traditional ileostomy. What is wonderful is that this doctor did some training at Cleveland Clinic so he knows in detail what surgery Troy has had done and the surgeon that did it. Troy has decided that the traditional route will be best since he will then be able to eat whatever he wants and participate in life more normally than what he is currently living. It will be nice to have a local doctor care for him and have surgery at Parkview where I can keep tabs on him and the care he is getting. Surgery will happen 4-6 weeks after chemo and then take 6-8 weeks to heal. We are hoping that by Halloween he will be feeling better and by Thanksgiving really good.
Work is getting tougher for Troy. Pray for endurance and encouragement. We are blessed with wonderful family and beautiful children. Those are the most important gifts of all.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Chemo - Round 4 - Ding!****extra blessings too****

The battle is on. We are currently sitting in the doctor's office while Troy is getting chemo #4. God is doing an amazing work in Troy's body right now. Early in his treatments his white blood cell count was below normal, enough that the doctor was watching it to see if treatments needed to be delayed. Since round 2 his counts have continued to climb! Today his count was 36000 (normal level and a significant increase from his baseline). There is no way to explain how he has been given medicine to kill the cells in his body yet his white blood cells continue to grow - except that God has great plans for Troy and needs him to keep fighting. God's grace and mercy continues on --- and there is more!
A friend from our small group knows one of our neighbors (we haven't gotten to know much of anyone since we have been hibernating all winter). This couple live across the street from us and the gentleman works out in his beautiful lawn all the time. He looks a lot like my dad from the back, especially when he is bent over working, and Gavin sees him outside and yells for Pawpaw. The other day he was so upset that "pawpaw" wouldn't come over and see cute....anyways - Our friend told the couple what was going on with Troy and that we probably needed help with our lawn since I'm going back to work soon. The couple came over that day and offered us their help!!! It turns out that the woman had just been to Bible study that morning and the subject was the Holy Spirit and listening/acting on it. When she heard we were in need she listened immediately and got her hubby to come over and help. Marcy and Tom and such nice, Godly people. The Christian community is amazing and we are so thankful for our friends for looking out for us. They loved the story about Gavin and have grandkids similar ages to our boys.
I have been really stressing out about going back to work at the start of May and how I was going to juggle it all. I have been praying for patience and wisdom and God came through and said - "STOP WORRYING - I already have it taken care of." sigh...... Why do we try to control everything no matter how many times we are shown that God loves us and cares for us?
Our friends, family and complete strangers have been with us every step of the way, helping remind us how loved we are and living out God's work here on earth.
Thank you! This was so inspirational I had to share right away!

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Troy is having a pretty rough day today. He puts on a brave face and won't complain about anything but you can tell by the way he moves and the look in his eyes that his body is failing him more than he admits. I have to practically pry is out of him to tell me what exactly isn't feeling well. Right now his head is killing and his stomach hurts. He was able to eat half a slice of pizza and a nutty bar so maybe that will help. He has a hard time getting the protein he needs - it doesn't settle well in his stomach and he has problems digesting it - so I'm sure that the headaches are partially due to his blood sugar getting low. He is kinda like Gavin in the amount of food he takes in - total of one good meal a day. I feel so helpless. He tries really hard to push through the day and play with the boys and do a few things around the house. He just wants to feel normal again, to not be sick from chemo, to not have a tube sticking out of his belly and just be able to enjoy his family. I've run out of positive ways to spin things. I just try to love on him and encourage him to stick it out one more day.
Yesterday was a big day. People from work came over in the morning and helped do yard work with me and then Troy and I went to a birthday party for a friend in small group. No kids were allowed and it was so much fun to just sit with our friends and relax...until Mid called to say Grayson would not take a bottle (he was screaming in the background). Grayson is such a Mama's boy I am really starting to worry about going back to work. He won't take a bottle and can freak out pretty quick if I'm not around and he isn't being walked. High maintenance.
I found a great quote yesterday. I try to find something inspirational everyday. God is present if I seek him out
"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy hidden heart of it because, in the last analysis, all the moments are key moments and life itself is grace." Frederick Buechner

Monday, April 12, 2010

Chemo Round 3

Hello Everyone,
Sorry again for the long space between blog updates. Troy just had chemo #3 on Thur. and seems to be doing a little better than round 2. He is nauseous pretty much all the time and gets very tired easily but is still going to work and trying to do tasks around the house. I have to tell him to sit down because he just doesn't know how to treat his body nicely. He continues to lose a little weight each week and we were concerned about his white blood cell counts after treatment 2 but they bounced back a little and we were able to continue treatments without adjustments or delays. We finally made it back to church on Easter and it was great to be part of worship again. It is still really hard to get out the door in the mornings because that is one of Troy's worst times and I still don't have a good handle on getting the boys and myself ready and out the door in a timely fashion. We timed it one morning and it took 3 hours of breakfasts, baths, feedings and out the door for all four of us. So if you need us to be somewhere in the morning we need a huge heads up!
We've had a lot of family and friends visit lately. It has been great for everyone to meet Grayson and really helps lift Troy's spirits and take his mind off of things.
Grayson had his 8 week check up today and he is gigantic! He weighs 14.3 lbs and measures 23 3/4 inches. He is in the 95th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for height. He is wearing 3/6 month clothing now and even some of that isn't looking to roomy! I can't believe how opposite the kids are. Gavin is 20 months and just now out growing his 12 month clothing. It cracks us up. Gavin is saying something new everyday and is a little sponge (he soaks up good and bad things....I'm sure you know where I'm going with this) He continues to be a man's man and thinks the world of his Dada, Pawpaw and Papaw. The ladies don't exist, including me, if the men are around. So cute. Oh and he still loves his Brubber (brother) whom he tries to suffocate with kisses regularly, in-between the occas. love smack.
Overall we are hanging in there and continue to appreciate the cards, phone calls and e-mails from our friends and family. Please pray for physical and mental stamina, that Troy's body will continue to fight the cancer and tolerate the chemo, that his side effects will be minimal and he can enjoy his family during these precious days. Please pray that I can enjoy the last few weeks of my maternity leave and that we can ease into our new work routine as easily as possible.
God Bless. We leave it in His hands.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hey Everyone,
Wow, sorry it has been three weeks since the last update. Time kinda gets away from me around here...I don't know why :) So Troy started his first of ten chemo treatments last Wed. We spend about 5 hours in the doctor's office getting lab work, seeing the Dr. and then getting about three hours of infusions. After the office chemo is done a home health nurse hooks Troy up to a 46hr chemo drip to go home on. This will happen every two weeks for a total of ten treatments. Overall Troy did really well. They give him three drugs IV before his chemo that help prevent nausea. One of the drugs is a steroid so he was up all of Wed. night but felt to crappy to clean the house...:0 He remained queasy for several days after the treatment but it is hard to tell if that is from the chemo or the fact that his valve in his pouch has completely malfunctioned and he is forced to keep a catheter inside at all times to allow the pouch to drain. An urgent trip to Cleveland was another event that happened since my last blog.
The Cleveland doctor doesn't know why the valve is leaking and sometimes not letting him into his pouch. He examined the pouch and valve and can't find a clear problem but none the less it is not working for sure. The Dr. can not repair or replace the valve until after chemo is complete so Troy will be forced to keep a cathteter inside for probably 6 months. This is a really uncomfortable way to live and add the chemo effects on top well...not so great. So we have also been working with the ostomy nurse at Parkview to see if Troy can be fitted for a regular ileostomy bag. The catheter will have to stay in due to the valve but at least it would enable him to not have a leg bag and use supplies that are meant to handle the situation. The nurse was able to fix something up and Troy was really happy. That lasted for 2 hours and then that malfunctioned too. We still have hopes to find a better solution for him for the next 6 months but we have to get more supplies in first and then it is just trial and error.
The worst side effect from the chemo so far is the extreme sensitivity to cold. For about five days post treatment Troy has to wear gloves to get anything out of the fridge, can't drink or eat anything cooler than room temp. and has to stay out of cold air. If he is exposed to cold it is like a thousand pins stabbing him or if in his mouth, his teeth feel like they are cracking and is throat is clamping shut. Troy's hair is also breaking off. They said it probably wouldn't fall out, just thin, but it is actually cracking off, leaving him with nubs. Troy had his head shaved on Mon.
Everyday brings new challenges but Troy has come through so much already.Thanks for the prayers, cards and notes of support.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

New Port Is In

Troy had his new port placed today. Everything went smoothly and we both got a little nap in after our 3:30 am start for the day. They placed the new port on the left side since he has had a blood clot in the old right sided location. He is starting to get pretty sore from the procedure (normal) and he now has a small ooze under the dressing from the blood thinners he is on (not so normal, so I'll keep an eye on it.) I may have to run up to the hospital to get extra dressings and change everything myself tom. We will see if the ooze persists. It is nothing life threatening but it doesn't exactly encourage good wound healing either. I just wanted to give everyone a quick update.
Troy is going to start doing a little work from home tom. so please pray for strength and restraint (I can see Troy pushing too hard too fast). Also pray for quick healing and good pain control. Troy went with Grayson and I to Meijer yesterday for a small grocery run. He was exhausted when we got back but he did it. He is making progress with his abdominal incision and the pain associated with that. Now he needs to work on his stamina. I will try to get him out of the house again tom. - Pray for me! :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Chunky Monkey

Grayson had his two week check up yesterday. He is also off the growth curve, just like Gavin, but on the other extreme. Grayson now weighs 10 lb 12oz! He gained a full pound in a week and half and has grown 1 1/4 inches since birth! The kid does not miss a meal. The doctor was happy with his development and says he will pass Gavin in a couple months :)
Troy is scheduled for his port placment tom. morning at Parkview. It should only take a couple hours an he'll be home. He is scheduled for chemo to start on March tenth. He is feeling better, both belly and chest and hopes to go back to work on Mon. for partial days. It has been so nice to have him home with me and the kids but I know it will be nice for him to get back to a "normal" routine for at least a week or two before chemo starts. I'm so proud of all he's been through and his work ethic.
We got back to church on Sun. It was fantastic! It was a bit of a mess getting the new family there on time but we made it and it felt so good to be home. Everyone was so welcoming to Troy and made efforts to stop by and welcome him back - that meant a lot to him. The music and sermon were great and for those of you that attend Pathway you know how great the tithe song was. Troy's belly hurt from laughing so hard. God knew exactly what our souls needed.
Pastor Ron stopped by late last week and helped give sound advice and encouragement to both Troy and I. That helped a lot. We are so blessed to have our families, church and friends - they help us through the roughest spots and make the bright spots even brighter. We are looking forward to a few good days ahead before chemo starts.
God Bless!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Doctors Appointments for All the Boys

This past week has been busy for us. Grayson had a great first check up at the doctor and was close to his birth weight before he was one week old. He goes back next week for a two week check up and we'll see where he sits on the percentile charts. He slept from midnight to 5:15 last night which was heavenly. Gavin normally doesn't wake up from Grayson so that is another blessing! I feel like Grayson is growing so fast and already changing, it makes me sad. Life in general feels like a freight train and everyday is one blow after another - we're just trying to survive.
Gavin went to the doctor for his 18 month check-up. I was sure he was starting to gain on the percentile scale and catch up with some of his peers....not so much. He only weight 21.4 # which drops him below the 5th percentile. His length and head remained at 25th percentile. I don't know what else I can do to help him get some meat on his bones. The doctor said everything looked good developmentally and we would just watch his weight and see if he continues to drop. Poor little guy, he is going to be passed up by his brother in another year.
Troy visited his oncologist yesterday. He was really happy with the reports from Cleveland regarding 0 lymph nodes with cancer in them. There was evidence that cancer had once been there by little puddles of secretions left in the large bowel but no active cells in the lymph nodes. With this information the doctor said Troy can be considered in remission now but we won't know if he is cured for another 5 years. If rectal cancer is going to reoccur it will most often happen within 5 years. After that you're prognosis is pretty good. Troy will still have to have the intense chemo and we now know it will be for 5 months, not 4 like we thought. This sucks... no way to put it better. Troy will have his port placed in 1 week and start chemo in 3 weeks. The regimen is 2 hours of infusion at the hospital then they hook him up for 46 more hours of home infusion. He then gets 12 days off and starts again for a total of 10 treatments. So our big blowout party will have to wait till August. Gavin will think it is a party for him!
Troy may have also popped some cartilge in his chest which is giving him a lot of pain right now so add that to the list of prayer needs.
Right now I'm tired, overwhelmed and frankly a little depressed with life. When my husband, infant and toddler are all hurting and or crying it is a little hard to take. I know many of you want to help and believe me you are but I also feel like at some point I need to take responsibility for my own life and my own children. I have to figure out how to handle it all because I won't always have a babysitter nor will I always want one. I know this is all in God's plan and so I try to pray and give it up to him and ask for strength. Most of the time I get it, but not all the time - then you can add me to the list of people crying in this house.
Please don't stop praying. We really need it.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Whoa Baby!

Hey Everyone! Sorry it took so long to update but we've been a little busy here in the Floor house. FYI if anyone is up between midnight and 4am so are we!!! Grayson really likes the night life.
As you all know Grayson finally decided to make his appearance on his real due date so we can't really give the kid a hard time. Labor went really well (esp. since Gavin took 23hrs) and we were all shocked to have a nearly 10 pound baby. He is chunky, healthy and perfect as far as Mom and Dad are concerned. I have a couple shout outs for awesome performances for the delivery date. They include: Mom & Dad, Mid & Dick - for getting up at 3am and coming over in the snow to babysit Gavin and drive Troy and I to the hospital (Troy is still on driving restrictions). Leah Mosher - Doula Extraordinaire- She was with me from 3am till a few hours after delivery helping me breathe through contractions, maintain my composure, walk the halls, and believe in myself. Seriously, if any ladies reading this are interested in extra support during the birthing experience I cannot say enough about Leah - AWESOME!! Troy did great. He wasn't feeling well when I went into labor and through most of my laboring time at the hospital but he fought through it and was definetly there when Grayson and I needed him. I am so proud of him battling through feeling crappy and then sleeping on the hospital couch and dealing with a rough bathroom setup for the entire stay.
Gavin took to Grayson immediately and called him "brother" the first time he saw cute!! He is really loving to him and last night he gave him the sweetest goodnight kiss and hug. Grayson gets more lovin than Mom does! The first morning we were home Grayson was crying downstairs and the first thing Gavin said when he awoke in his crib was "hush" - hilarious because he is used to telling the dogs "hush."
Overall we are getting along - with much help and thanks to our moms. Today Gavin went to daycare so it was just me, Troy and Grayson at home. It has been really nice to have that quiet bonding time. A baby is such a miracle. Everytime I look at Grayson I am amazed at God's power, timing, and perfection. There is no way evolution can create a creature so perfect in his complexity. Thanks again for all the prayers, keep 'em up. We need Troy to keep getting stronger and to gain a little weight before chemo starts in a couple weeks. I hope to post some pictures if I can figure it out. Otherwise be checking your mailboxes (if I have your address).
God Bless,

Saturday, February 6, 2010

He's here!

Born at 3:15 p.m.
21 inches long
9# 14 oz-----yes, you read that right!!!!(Big brother, Gavin is 18#--he had better watch out!)
Everyone is doing well.
Will update later.

Floor #4 on the way!

We're at the hospital! Arrived at 6 a.m. Things were progressing quite well until the epidural-slowed down a little but now things are progressing once again.
Will let you know when Grayson arrives!!
(Since Alicia has been a little pre-occupied, she asked me to update the blog)
Proud "Gaga",

Friday, February 5, 2010

Baby Update

We've made it through another day. Troy is having a rough time adapting to his new system and trying to figure out how to handle an eight handed project with only two hands. Things are working properly but his tube gets clogged more often than he expected and it complicates things. It is hard to tell if it gets clogged because he hasn't felt well after his appointment and hasn't been drinking as much as he should or if the new tube, which is skinnier and less flexible, is simply more prone to clogging. At any rate Troy is having a hard time keeping his spirits up and staying positive. Patience is not one of Troy's strongest attributes. I know it will get better as his body settles down and he has time to do a little trial and error. Please pray for a positive attitude and patience. I know he can do it.
We went back to see my midwife today. Still, absolutely no change in Grayson. It appears that he will be like Gavin in which he is ready to come out but my body won't let him. Everything is still to high to let labor progress. I do have contractions but nothing regular and Grayson is still moving like a wild man. His heart rate is great with good accelerations (a healthy sign). I'm not too uncomfortable so we have decided to see what happens over the weekend and go back to my midwife on Mon. I'll be 40 wks. and 2 days Mon. If nothing has happened by then I'll take a medicine to soften my cervix at home Mon. night and see if that gets things rolling. I've never been fond of induction and since Grayson and I are still healthy I want to see what my body will do naturally. Keep praying for our safety and whatever God has planned will happen.
We'll keep everyone posted. Thanks for all the kind words.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

What a Relief

Troy just called from his appointment. Everything went as well as it could. The infection appeared to be local only to his incision site> Dr. was able to drain the rest of the infection and pack the wound in the office. He is sending Troy home with a couple antibiotics. Troy was able to get the outer bag removed and they tested his internal pouch. The capacity and valve quality look good and Troy can now start learning to manage a new system. Troy is excited to have the bag off but scared of his new lifestyle and learning to manage his new setup, especially out in public. He still has weight lifting restrictions of 10 lbs for another 3 weeks. All of this news is a huge answer to a lot of prayers that I know each of you have been lifting up. We are so thankful. Troy should be home in about five hours and so far no Grayson activity. I am so exhausted that I am going to try to get some sleep now. I don't think my body or brain can take much more at this point. My mom brought Gavin over. I missed him so much. I don't feel like I've been much of a Mom this past week or so. I feel bad, like I'm letting him down but right now I can barely hold my head up. I think we'll both nap and feel better later.
God is bigger than my box.

Just said "Goodbye"

It's 4am and I just said "goodbye" to my husband for the second time in a month. Mid and Dick are driving him to Cleveland for his appointments. Neither of us slept tonight. I avoided tears by staying busy, helping him get dressed, packing his bag, fussing like I do. I was fine until I kissed him goodbye and he eased himself into their car, watching him try to stay strong as he adjusted the seat to try to make him as comfortable as possible and strap a pillow over his belly to help guard against the bumps. It was then that I realized he was driving 4 hours away to manage an unfair lot in life and I was alone in a cold garage praying a baby stays inside so that his daddy can meet him for the first time with me. It is just too much right now. This hurdle is so small compared to what we've been through but in my current state it is just as tear worthy.
Troy is getting tired. The pain takes him to his limit and if that isn't bad enough there is always a side of humilitation. I love him so much it breaks my heart. I feel like a part of me dies when he starts to give up. All I can do is pray. I pray for his strength, my strength, emotional and physical stamina...I pray when I don't even know the words. As I give up my control to God he gives me peace.......thank you Lord for that peace....maybe now I can get some rest.
Is it too late to take an ambien?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Drama - Grayson must stay in - Pray for Troy

Wow what 3 days brings. We have great news and stressful news. I don't know how else to explain it but by starting at the top.
1.) On Monday night I opened mail that had Troy's pathology results from Cleveland in it. Praise the Lord- all of Troy's lymph nodes came back negative for cancer and his tumor had been shrunk by chemo and radiation down to 1.1cm. The rest of the bowel that was removed looked healthy. From everything I can understand from the report it looks like an answer to many, many prayers. The only thing that can explain the positive lymph node tests from his ultrasound in October and the negative test results from Cleveland is an amazing response to medicine and the amazing grace of God. - Yeah!!!
2.) Monday night I came home from work and felt awful. I had nausea, vomiting and diarrhea and contractions started that night. It was looking pretty serious but after I got through some of the GI upset the contractions slowed and then stopped completely. I went to see my midwife Tues. afternoon. I wasn't in labor. The contractions were brought on from getting some bug and being sick. My stomach shrank by 2cm and I lost 1 pound. Grayson is sitting so low that my midwife says if he goes any lower we'll see his ears! I didn't dilate or make any further progress though. This was really dispappointing at the time but....God has a plan.
3.) Troy has been having tons of pain in his bottom during this past week. I thought it was from everything starting to heal on the inside and pull. He woke up this morning to definite infection in his incision on his bottom. His Dr. in Cleveland wants to see him right away and get a CT scan to make sure the infecton has not spread to his pouch. Troy is leaving at 4am Thur. to get to Cleveland by 8:15 for his test, Dr. appt and hopefully the opportunity to have his outer bag removed. Please pray that the infection is local to his incision site and can easily be treated without having to admit Troy to the hospital. He was scheduled to have the outer bag removed today but had to cancel the appointment because he didn't want to miss Grayson's birth. Now it seems Troy does not have a choice but go to Cleveland and we all have to pray Grayson stays inside for at least another 24 hours. Hopefully Troy will be home by 7pm tom. night and everything will work out fine. I have put myself on bedrest and my mom has taken Gavin so I don't get contractions. This poor bambino is so confused, "stay in" no, now "come out", no, "stay in."
The worse case scenario includes the infection making a channel on the inside of his body to his pouch and Troy having to stay in Cleveland for treatments and maybe surgery to clean everything up. His pouch seems to be working fine right now and there is no external evidence of infection to anywhere on his abdomen. Pray for encouragement spiritually and emotionally for Troy. He is so scared to have fought this hard to be here for me and Grayson only for this new development to make him miss it. Pray for Mid, Dick and Troy's safety as they travel to and from Cleveland. Pray for the wisdom of Dr. Dietz. Pray for the safety of Grayson and myself. God has not let me go into labor yet for this very reason. Isn't He amazing?
We are stressed out to say the least but we know everything is in God's hands and He has delivered amazing proof of his powerful hand every step of the way for Troy. Just please pray, however you can, whenever you can. I will keep the blog updated as I hear from Troy tom.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Baby come out!!

No Grayson yet. I guess you all really prayed when I asked for him to stay in. Thanks, but you can all start to pray for him to come out and play now. I am miserable. Huge, uncomfortable and so ready to meet our little guy.
Troy is doing better each day, although he doesn't see it. His incision line and other suture sites are healing great. His pouch still seems to be working well and he is really ready to get the external bag off. He made an appointment last week to see the Dr. at Cleveland for this coming Wed. We were hoping that Grayson would be here by this weekend but clearly that is not happening so Troy is going to have to cancel that appointment and move it to sometime next week. I feel bad that it means another week of misery for Troy dealing with the external equipment. I go back to see my midwife on Tues. so we'll see if he is any closer to making his debut. In the mean time Troy is eating a little more everyday. His biggest struggle now is the severe pain he is feeling deep inside his pelvis. All of the muscle of the bases of his pelvis along with his abdomen were cut during surgery and as those muscles start to heal they pull on the hundred of sutures inside. He is still taking his pain medicine but there really isn't a great solution to how uncomfortable he is feeling and will feel for the next several months. I feel so bad for him. As this new deep pain has developed he has returned to the recliner to sleep. He simply can't lay back as far as the bed requires, even with a bunch of pillows. Please pray for encouragement for Troy, he doesn't see how great is really is doing, and pray for pain relief.
Until Grayson comes I will keep going to work ( I went back last Mon.). It is really tough working all day and coming home to a busy Gavin but thanks to our Moms were are really doing pretty well. My mom helps out during the day if Gav. isn't at daycare and Troy's mom and Dick come over in the evenings. I feel bad that they all spending so much of their free time helping us out. I know, I know, they want to do it. But I still feel bad. Thanks so much to each of you!!
Hopefully we'll be updating with baby news soon. Gosh, I hope so.
Love you all.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

3 Pieces of Pizza and a Real Bed

Friday night pizza was brought to our house for dinner and Troy ate 3 pieces! This is awesome. He slept in our bed for the first time Sat. night and has been there every night since. It is great to not sleep on the couch for me and he is sleeping better in a comfortable bed, although getting in and out is pretty tough and he needs about three pillows behind his head and back so he doesn't lay too flat (pulls on all the stitches and incisions).
We were hoping to go to church Sun. morning but Troy still can't sit upright in a chair without a lot of pain so maybe in another week.
I went back to work on Mon. since Grayson just loves hanging out inside. I know I wanted him to stay in a for a while for Troy to heal but I'm am totally done now. He needs to come out now! I was measuring two weeks big last week and I just went to the doctor today and somehow gained zero pounds but grew 3 more cm in my belly. I am now measuring like I'm 42 weeks but I'm only 38 1/2. My midwife thinks the baby is really long. I hope thats true and I don't have a big butterball to deliver. sigh....... At least Troy seemed to do okay alone on Mon. He is very eager to get back to Cleveland wrap up his procedure and have a functional pouch. He is tentatively scheduled for 2/3 in Cleveland. This is if Grayson comes by the weekend. If not then he will move it to the following week. This will be a bummer for everyone because I know he wants to get on with his healing and I want Grayson out!
Keep praying for healing, patience and the health of our entire household (including the abnormally large and unborn).
Talk to you later.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Daddy is playing with Gavin

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I didn't feel well, being the size of a blimp and all. Troy did amazing. He helped wrangled Gavin as best he could and even went down to the basement with Juanita (Troy's grandma) to play with Gavin while I took a rest. Troy's incision looks really good and is healing nicely. He got all 31 staples out of his belly yesterday. He till has two other incisions/punctures that are slowly closing besides his stoma (fancy word for the place the small intestine comes out of the abdomen). His stoma still looks great and is functioning properly.
After I wrote the blog Wed. Troy had enough strength to go to work and visit his friends. This was great for Troy's spirits and it was nice to say "hi" to all the friends that have supported him so much through all of this. Troy then came with me to pick Gavin up from daycare. It was so cute! Gavin was sitting at the table eating his snack when we walked in. He didn't really care that I was there but when he saw his daddy he squealed, yelled "Daddy" and had the biggest smile on his face. This made Troy's day and all the effort totally worth it. Gavin crawled up onto Troy's walker and out we went. So cute.......
We have had wonderful meals delivered to us from friends of the church and our small group literally stocked our freezer. I don't think I can fit a single item more into our chest freezer. We are so blessed.
Hopefully we can get Troy out and about today and maybe a little this weekend.
God Bless,

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Making Progress

Good Morning Everyone,
Troy is making great progress at home. He is getting up and moving better and better. It still really hurts and he needs to stay on top of his pain meds but I see huge progress everyday. I'm really proud of his physical and emotional strength. He has learned to manage every part of his care on his own. This is amazing because sometimes you need eight hands, yet he is managing. We need to change his dressings at least 3 times a day and he has to flush and manage his external bag every 4 hours or so. I know he is getting mentally tired of the routine already but has he said it is temporary and we are trying to keep his spirits up. Please keep praying for mental strength and for him to remember to rely on God for support and realize he can't do it all alone. He is still sleeping in the recliner downstairs but hopes to move to the bed soon. I sleep on the couch next to him so I can be there when he needs me. He had some really rough and lonely nights in the hospital and I don't want him to feel that way again. Good news is that he gets his staples out tom. Yeah!! 31 staples to be removed. That will make him feel a little better I hope.
I had an OB appointment yesterday. Grayson seems to be cooperating and will stay in for another week. I am 1cm dilated and his head is fully engaged but my midwife thinks I still have time. I am completely miserable but trying to remember that this is for the best for Troy and Grayson. The longer he cooks the better. I will continue to waddle for another week. :)
Love you all.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Thank you all, home at last.

Hey everyone,
I just wanted to say thank you, to all who have been praying for us and thinking of my family through this time. It is great to be home and I couldn't have been more excited to see my son the morning after getting home. The drive home was interesting and a bit painful at first, but once I got some pain meds in me it went about as well as it possibly could. Thank you all for supporting Alicia through this time as well, she is so strong and does so much for me, evan while carrying our second child and bieng extremely uncumfortable herself. God has truly given me a gift in her. I believe I am doing pretty well at home, I have been able to take a shower, (ouch) standing for that long really hurts! It also makes it easier for me to get up and walk around the house, so that I get a little exercise. Continue to pray for healling as I am still in a lot of pain, also pray for strength of mind as I am really struggling with the idea of having this external drainage bag, evan though I know I will only have it for about a month. Alicia is also getting very close to going into labor and is getting really uncomfortable.

We love you all, and can't thank you enough for what you all do, and have done for our family,


Friday, January 15, 2010

Blood Clot Still There

Troy just got back from his ultrasound and the blood clot is still present in his neck :( He will have to be back on the blood thinners for at least two more months and I'm betting that the FTW docs will have him stay on it for the duration of his chemo. Chemo makes you more prone to clotting. Troy went a long time without pain meds and is pretty tired now that he is back in his room. He at half a serving of Apple Jacks and drank a little water. His diet is really poor right now. I pray that his appetitie and tolerance for food will grow so that he can get stronger and not lose a ton more weight. I know his spirits are low, it is infectious. I just don't know how to fix him. I know I can't, that I need to leave it in the Lord's hands but it is so difficult to sit next to someone that is hurting and feels so bad about himself. Troy needs encouragement that his physcial change will improve every day and that he is strong enough to get through it.

Going Home Today

Troy is being released today!!! It will probably take all day to get everything done and lined up but we are out of here none the less. Troy is currently having an ultrasound done to check on the clot in his neck that was found at the start of Dec. If the clot has shrunk, stabilized or disappeared then he won't have to go back on coumadin until the next port is put in. Even with his next port the MD here isn't recommending he immediatley goes back on blood thinners but wait to see if a blood clot forms or not. It would be great if Troy wasn't cold all the time from the blood thinners and didn't have to have his blood checked every week. So pray for that.
The surgeon is very happy with Troy's healing and progress. He will need to come back in about 3 weeks to have the irrigation tube removed and then he can start using the pouch like it is intended. That will be wonderful. Troy is starting to lose his patience already with the continuous irrigation. It definetely isn't fabulous but I try to remind him that it is short term and he will feel a lot better when we can get him home and into a normal routine and cleaned up better. No matter how much you try to stay clean in a hospital nothing beats a home shower. He will be able to shower even with the continuous irrigation, another big YEAH!!!
Mid and Dick are here today so they are going to help drive us home. I'm worried about hitting bumps on the road. I know the ride home is going to be very uncomfortable for Troy. We brought a pillow for him to hold onto and support his belly. Please pray for smooth roads and as much comfort for Troy as possible.
My mom and dad are picking up supplies at the Cancer Center today so that Troy will have everything he needs as soon as we get home. Mom also washed up all of Grayson's bedding and newborn clothing for me so that we will be set whenever he decides to show up. - THANK YOU!
Karin from our small group is making a small grocery run for us so that our fridge is stocked - AWESOME! I am so thankful for great family and friends. We could not have made it through this week without all of you praying and helping us out.
I'll keep everyone posted on our ride home and how Troy is settling in. I GET TO SEE GAVIN SOON!!!!!!!! (Not that I missed him at all :0 )

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Walking Fool

Well yesterday was not very pleasant for Troy. He had a hard time getting the pain under control enough to walk and be active like the docotor wants. He actually did a little less than the day prior. He was finally able to get a good walk in before bed after much prompting and badgering by mostly my mom (she got to play bad cop) and me (good cop.) He did feel better after he got up and moved some.
The doctor pulled the extra drainage tube from his left side yesterday which hurt like crazy but he was happy to be rid of. Last night was another sleepless night because if you have ever worked or stayed in a hospital you know that there is always someone waking you up. Troy's roomate went home and we did get Troy moved to the window side of his room where there is more privacy and better air circulation so he can stay cooler. That left his old spot open for a new patient which they brought in at 3am!!! Lab also screwed up and came to draw his blood at 4, 5 and 6am. The doctors here are amazing but there is much left to be desired from the ancillary departments of CC. Troy will be happy to go home tom. and get some real rest.
He is doing better today with his pain and we have already been up and walking. I am so proud of his progress. He still has pain but is working through it and is starting to get onerie again. I love it!
We can't wait to see Gavin tom. So far Grayson is staying put and that's what we are praying for for at least another week. That way Troy can be part of the experience more.
Karin (our friend from small group) had a good appt. with the "super smart doctors" yesterday and is seeing a very good doctor today so please keep praying for wisdom for the doctors and patience and ecouragement for Karin.
More later. Love ya,

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Pain Management is Key

Good morning everyone. Troy's day yesterday was a huge step forward. He started eating a little food and certainly got around a lot easier than the day prior. As I said they took him off the IV pain medicine and put him on oral meds. The oral meds don't work as well or as long so by the time he can have more he is really hurting. He ate part of a dinner roll at the end of the day yesterday and we think that was a bit much for him because he started having terrible cramps during the night. The nurse was able to give him some extra medicine to help him through but when I arrived this morning he is pretty exhausted. I've watched him sleep basically all morning. I feel bad for him. I can't do anything to take the pain away and I think that in small doses it is something he has to work through. I hope to help him get cleaned up and go for a walk later this morning.
The doctor came in this morning and said he was doing well. He can get the extra drain removed today and hopefully go home Friday. Yeah!! Pray that he continues to make good progress and we can get home safely before Grayson says "hello."
Please pray for Karin Bernard. She and her husband Scott are part of our small group and she is actually her at CC with her mom to undergo some tests from the "super smart doctors" as her kids call them. She has a lot going on and has been searching for answers for along time. Pray that this trip serves her well. Karin and her mom made an extra trip to the clinic last night after they got in just to have dinner with me and my mom and see Troy. How sweet is that? She is a wonderful person. I pray for the best.
My midwife organzied a 60min. pregnancy massage for me which I enjoyed yesterday. That was fabulous. The ocean noise, the warm lotion...all I needed was a little sand and a fruity drink and Heaven has been found. It was a great stress relief and I think she helped relieve my 'kankles' a little bit.
There are so many people that have blessed us as a family. Thank you, thank you , thank you!!
We love and appreciate you all. Hopefully today brings more progress for Troy and more pain relief.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Drugs are good till you start hallucinating

Troy had another eventful night. He finally got some good sleep but a little too good at one point. The nurse came in to flush his tube and Troy was in a really deep sleep. I know that you can't wake Troy up right away when he is really sleeping good but this nurse thought everything was fine when she started talking to Troy and he was talking back. Troy wasn't really awake and remembers having a dream where he thought he was in a psych ward because everything was white (everything is white here at CC including the nursing uniforms)he got scared and coudn't figure out why he was in a psych ward. The nurse asked him if he knew where he was, what his name was and why he was here. He answered no to everything and was considering pulling out all of his lines because he thought they were holding him against his will. He couldn't remember he was married and that I visited him and thought the name Troy Floor sounded vaguely familiar but didn't believe it was his name....Eventually he really woke up and remembered everything that just happened and could answer all the questions correctly. It gave the nurse a little scare and bought him a fast track to oral pain medicine and off the IV crack. It all makes sense to me as a nurse, I've been there with my patients, but I'm sure it was very scary for Troy.
I called this morning and got the full scoop from him before I even arrived and by the time I got here he was ready to go for the day. Today has been a huge turning point. He is moving easier, walked the hall at least 3 times the distance he did yesterday and is sitting upright more. He even got some chocolate pudding with his pills. His pouch is doing well and everyone seems very impressed with his progress, most of all me! I'm so proud of him. He just took some more pain medicine and then we hope to get up and walk again before evening. Thanks again to everyone for their support and prayers. Keep praying for a speedy recovery and that Grayson will decide to stay inside for at least another week.
Love ya,

Monday, January 11, 2010

Devotional Thoughts

I was reading my devotional earlier this morning from "Streams in the Desert" and it fit Troy's message of purpose for his journey perfectly. The overall message was that God puts hurt and sorrow in your life so that you can help others more effectively. "You will be wounded so that in the binding up of your wounds by The Great Physician, you may learn how to render first aid to wounded everywhere." Because Troy has been wounded and is now being healed he will be able to give witness to the power of Jesus Christ.
"God comforts us not to make us comfortable but to comfort others." John Henry Jowett

I hope Troy's journey has been a blessing to others already and I am looking forward to seeing how God uses him in the future.

PS - Troy's cell get zero service in the hospital. If you need to reach him you can e-mail us at or call my cell (260)602-5149.

Another rough night but things slowly improving

The night was rough again for Troy. He started coughing during the night and that hurts his abdomen terribly. It continued for most of the night so by the time I talked to him at 6:30 from my hotel room he was exhausted. Poor guy can't get any decent sleep even if he wants to. I arrived in the morning and basically watched him try to sleep till noon. I did help him get cleaned up and he is moving better than yesterday. Brian, Troy's uncle from Akron, Ohio came up for some testing of his own and stopped in to see him and we had a nice lunch together. When I came back from lunch Troy rested a little more and then he went for his first walk. Yeah!!! This is a huge step. Troy says it hurt like the dickens but felt good to get out of bed and off his back. The drainage from his bowel is slowly changing from blood to a little bit of normal stuff (I won't elaborate to avoid grossing out you non-medical folk, but I will gladly fill you in on all colors and activity if you so like via e-mail :o) Troy is pretty quiet. I know this is because he is putting all his energy into healing but it is still tough to see my normally laughing and joking husband struggling.
I'm starting to miss Gavin pretty bad too. I don't know what's harder, calling and listening to him babble and laugh or not calling. I hope he still remembers Mama and Dada when we get home. I know he won't forget his Dada, his lives for his Dada. If you have kids give them an extra hug and kiss tonight just because you can.
Keep praying for strength and pain control for Troy. Pray that he will see the progress he is making and realize that this too shall pass.
Love you all.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Hanging in there

Yesterday was post op day 1 and from what everyone told us would be the hardest day. I certainly hope it was because Troy really struggled to get his pain under control. He never found the balance between just the right amount of pain control and being completely zonked. The nurse doesn't want him zonked because then he doesn't want to move and do his breathing exercises yet he can't move or do his exercises when his pain is out of control. It was a real struggle. His heart rate is still very high and doctors are attributing that to pain as well. So please pray that his pain will improve, it will help a lot of things.
This morning was a little better so we hold out hope for day 2. He has been up to the chair twice and the pain is now below a 5/10. Please pray for patience and confidence. Troy needs encouragement that each day will be better than the last and that he really is making good progress (which he is!).
I am proud of his accomplishments and try to remind him that his body will need time to heal.
Most of the family is heading home today will a few short visitors expected in the next couple days. Please pray for safe travels. Troy is blessed to have so many people care about him including each of you reading this.
Thank you praying. We have felt the impact and hand of God on us our entire journey. I miss going to church today. I hope each of you were blessed with a special message. I'll have to catch Ron's sermon online soon.
Love to all,

Saturday, January 9, 2010

What a long night....Good things come with the Morning

Hey everyone,
Sorry this is the first update since Troy's surgery, what a long evening it turned out to be. Troy was out of surgery at 3pm yesterday and was supposed to be in post anesthesia care unit for two hours and then go to his room. Ha, 7 hours later Troy finally got a room. He was stable enough to move well befor that but a room wasn't available. His room was being "cleaned" for four hours!!! We were all swearing that we we're going to Walmart to buy supplies and clean the room on our own. The staff did let me see him twice for about ten minutes during this time. The first time he did not look so hot. Pale, in a lot of pain and just generally miserable. It broke my heart when he said he nurse was a jerk. I wanted to punch her lights out. She woudn't tell Troy how often he could just his pain button and told him is was crazy when he said his pain was 12/10. Bless his heart, he just got his gut ripped open and someone has the nerve to say he can't rate his own pain!!! Arghhhhhhh. Anyway we talked him through that and started having him push his button as often as he felt like it and the heck with that nurse. He was better the second time I saw him and just 3 short hours after that he got a room. Are you sensing the sarcasm and irritation yet? I'm laying it on pretty thick.
When he finally got to his room the nursing staff was much better and he was just exhausted. The family stayed for a little bit and then we all left for the night to hopefully give him a little peace. When we came back this morning he said it was the worst night of his life. He was in horrible pain. The staff was adjusting his medication when we arrived and with an eye on the clock we got Troy feeling better six minutes at a time.
Just this past hour or so the nurse and I got him stood him up for the first time. A huge feat. He did amazing considering all the pain he was in and what has been done to him in the last 24 hours. I also saw his incision and drainage sites. They look realy good and are smaller than I thought they would be.
Overall I am encouraged at how well he has done. This day is going to hurt and going to suck. We all know that. But God has given Troy amazing strength and built his body and spirit do to things that he never imagined he was capable of.
I was given a wonderful devotional "Streams in the Desert" by L.B. Cowman. Today'a scripture really spoke to me, Romans 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
Love to all, Alicia

Friday, January 8, 2010

God is Good. Troy is out of surgery

God is a good and gracious God. Praise Jesus. Troy is out of surgery and everything went as planned. The doctor was able to make the internal pouch and the liver looked good (no cancer visible). He is currently is recovery and I still can't see him. Hopefully he will be out in another 1.5 hours and up to his room where I can't wait to kiss him and hold his hand. Please keep praying for a quick recovery and as little pain as possible. Troy is strong and I know he will be happy to deal with the pain in light of the great news from surgery.
Thank you Jesus for blessing me with more days with my best friend.

Surgery Update

Update at 10:30 - Surgery going well. The prayers are working. I personally feel so much peace. Thank you for all the responses and support. We are trying to keep our heads up. God is in control and He is amazing. I'm sure Troy is doing better than me at this point. He is so strong. I am so lucky to be married to such a wonderful, Christian man. God has blessed me so much.
God Bless.

Surgery Time

Good Morning everyone. Troy was just wheeled back to surgery. I am amazed at how calm Troy was rolling back to surgery. He had a peace about him that only God can give. I'm sitting here in the massive surgical waiting area at the Clinic with Ron Williams, Mid (Troy's mom), Dick, Gary (Troy's dad), Lynn, Matt (Troy's brother) and my dad.
I must admit that I am an emotional basket case, pregnancy hormones on top of wife/mother worry....not good. But the longer I pray and look at the confidence Troy has the more reassurance I have in the ultimate power and grace of my Lord.
Thank you to everyone who has been and is praying for our family. Please keep praying. Prayer is power. We hope to have more to update later in the afternoon when he is out of surgery and in his final room recovering.
Love to all.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Troy's Upcoming Surgery

Troy and Alicia are preparing to head to Cleveland for Troy's surgery on Friday. At this time we have no idea as to the exact time. More will be posted on Thursday.